“What were you thinking?”

“What were you thinking?”

That’s the phrase we sometimes say to people we know – when they screw up big time…
In looking at the headlines in the newspapers in the first month of this year, and it is reassuring to know that my partners and I will probably be in business for a long time to come – because all I can think of to say after reading each article in the paper is – WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

The Oakland Raiders win the trip to the Super Bowl in one of the most exciting championship games I can remember watching…..
Only there was one little flaw to take the sweetness away from such a sweet victory.
A small but substantial number of Raider Fans who felt the need to go out and celebrate by…
Rioting in their own streets, burning their own businesses, burning cars on the street…
They weren’t even Titan fans – upset over a loss…. They were Raider fans, upset with….
What were they upset about? What did this flaming pack of idiots think they were doing?
What were they proving? What were they doing?
Yes you group of brainless morons, thank you for casting a dark cloud over an incredible event.

Thank you for casting a shadow over the thousands of good fans who proudly wear the silver and black representing the “Raider Nation”.

I have one question. WHAT WERE YOU LOSERS THINKING?

Chevy’s Restaurants agree to pay a settlement to a family of a youth who died after consuming too much alcohol at their establishment. Yes, that is an unfortunate loss. The kid was what, 19 – 20 years old?

I’m thinking that wasn’t the first alcohol outing he’s been on. That death could have easily taken place at a Frat house on College grounds, or at a friend’s house hosting a Friday night keg party.
Let’s sue the people we know can pay…The restaurant chain!

I mean come on, you can’t sue his buddies for not keeping him from drinking.
You can’t sue his parents for not teaching him well enough about the dangers of drinking…
You can’t sue the kid for causing his own demise – he’s dead…..
So – Let’s go after the people we KNOW will pay.
So what if 16 year olds look like they are 20 in this day and age.
So what if fake ID’s look just as real as a real ID card.

Hey, I’m thinking, maybe if I jump off the Golden Gate Bridge – and survive, maybe my family can sue the State for millions for not having a proper fence up to prevent me from jumping. And we can sue the CHP for not having an officer on the bridge to keep me off, and hey, maybe we can sue the toll takers for not seeing me walk past the booths – don’t stop here, keep going baby……
sue the makers of the bridge, the makers of the toll booths,
Let’s sue the California department of Education for not educating me in grade school that jumping off the friggin bridge could be hazardous to my health!

Chevy’s – WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

Two teens out throwing eggs at cars late at night. (Hey Mom and Dad, what are they doing out on the streets late at night in an era of violence and people who hate each other???)

Only as bad luck would have it, two of the guys driving by didn’t like the fact that their cars got egged…

So they hunt the teens down, beat one to a pulp, and stab the other to death….

How many lives are affected by this?

One kid is dead, another probably traumatized for life if he doesn’t end up dying from his injuries,
And two morons who will be arrested and probably get life sentences in prison,
All over a god damn egg? What planet are we on? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

And then there is the case of the missing pregnant woman from Modesto – and her all of a sudden caring husband Scott… Only problem was, old Scotty didn’t show too much concern right from the get go.

Scotty goes “fishing in Berkeley the day before Christmas and leaves his ready to deliver wife at home alone….And oh my God – he returned home and she “vanished into thin air”….

Geez, I wonder how that happened Scott.

People disappear from the face of the earth just like that!

God I hate it when that happens..

The only thing I can’t figure out – is why go fishing in San Francisco Bay all the way from Modesto, the day before Christmas, with a wife who is 8 ½ months pregnant? And why go out in a small aluminum boat in 30 mile an hour winds and rough seas, when even commercial fishing boats weren’t going out…And going fishing for sturgeon with only a trout pole and no bait????
You go dude, you made a believer out of me! I mean, just because that’s the equivalent of going hunting for wild bear armed only with a pellet gun, that doesn’t mean we don’t believe you…….

You lying sack of crap!

You know what bothers me? What bothers me is when many of my friends and family WHO AREN’T COPS, see right through the crap and they call me and say:

“Something’s not right here…”

Ya think?

Hey nice job on getting the insurance policy on your wife last summer by the way…..
And lying about the girlfriend? Class Act Scotty……
And now, after a month has past and he’s avoided the cops, the press, and refused to take a polygraph test, Now all of a sudden, Scott is off to Los Angeles to open a search center for his wife…. Why down there Scotty? Well, you explain, nothing has turned up here and I feel it’s time to broaden the search and branch out…

I’m sorry, excuse me while I puke my brains out….
I think what you meant to say, is it’s time to get out of the heat and get as far away as possible from where they are bound to find her body…Let’s broaden the search area. Hey, lets try Mexico…..I hear Mazatlan is nice this time of year. Ya, lets search down there. And if no one is watching – you might be able to take your girlfriend along!

Ain’t got the guts to just call it quits in a bad marriage? Ain’t got the guts to just get a divorce
Gee Golly Gosh, one would almost get the idea that maybe Laci got tired of being married to a snake, found out about the girlfriend, and threatened divorce… Hey when in doubt – kill the wife…. No one will ever believe it, not even the family! Let’s make it look like a couple low life burglars did it….yeah, that’s the ticket. Burglars always kill witnesses to keep from getting caught…..not in the real world mind you, But in the brain of a murdering liar – yup, that sounds entirely possible! Hey I want to know one thing Scott…. When you did what everybody knows you did…. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!

Road Rage – 1 shot to death……
Estranged husband kills ex-wife, kids, then himself……
4 teens in critical condition after running a red light and crashing into a fire truck….

How about this one? A real live call on the police radio that made me spit my coffee up….

Woman requesting an Officer respond – for her 8-year old son who is refusing to get out of bed to go to school….

Lady, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!

I can’t believe we have to actually go to calls like that. If I pulled that crap with my Mom or Dad when I was 8-years old, I would have gotten a bucket of ice cold water thrown on me……There ya go Jimmy, if you want to stay in bed, don’t be thirsty!”

Do you know how many 8-year olds there are who “wear the pants” in the family and call the shots?

Yeah, there’s thousands of them….. and they grow up to be the kids out late at night egging cars and getting themselves killed, or going to a Bars with fake ID’s and drinking themselves to death….. (Hey, didn’t I write a long story a couple years ago called WHERE HAVE ALL THE PARENTS GONE?)

Remember when I went to Arizona a few months ago to a seminar, and I met a girl on the plane on the way home, who told me this quote….

“So many people are angry at a world – which isn’t the least bit angry at them”…

Now that’s thinking!

The only real question here is…

What are you thinking?

Stay safe
JL