QUESTION:
My friend stopped talking to me witch was odd. for some context i met her in a online game called and we have know each other for 2 months. we text every day, but one day she stopped. i asked her about this on multiple platforms. yet no response. At some point she opened my message and texted me on a platform know as discord (this is mainly where we talk). i will now quote the message she sent to me.
“i know your probably curious on what’s wrong, considering i haven’t been texting you as often as before. it’s kinda a long story, but so basically my ex moved back in town. and my dad really liked him as a person so when we broke up he was mad and he would always make me hang out with him, although i’ve told my dad multiple times i was not interested and i don’t like him because of all the stuff he’s done to me. my dad has made my ex come over, basically LIVE with us. and he won’t leave me alone. he saw me texting you before, saying how you loved me and i loved you. and he did not take that well. he said that if he saw me texting you again, he’d rape me. and he’s done it before, so i believe him. i’ve tried to talk to my dad about this but he doesn’t fucking listen. i don’t know where they went, but they left me home alone and i don’t know when they will come back. so this is the only i might be able to talk, unless this gets settled. i’m sorry if i never get to talk to you again after this, but i’ll try to stay connected to you..”
i was extremely upset about this message and said some things that i would do to the ex on call. i admit it was wrong but i was pissed. if you can get back to me id greatly appreciate it. we both are teens and im concerned.
ANSWER:
One word – Experience – Well ok two words – Experience & Training
Well, I cannot say I have not heard or seen this type of thing before. Abusive relationships are a huge problem in todays society. The catch is where you are in the relationship and what if anything there is that you can do about it. #1 and most important is stay out of the threats game with anyone in the other family. It will only lead to issues for you and in the end you need to protect yourself first.
The father seems like a problem, that is making for more issues and in turn is not listening to his own daughter. While I am not sure you age and I am going to assume it is under 18, if that is the case this situation is even more of an issue as there are protections that parents have when their child is not of legal adult age.
I would say she needs to find help to get out of the abusive situation she is in and that while it could be supported by a friend like yourself is really up to her to go seek that help. Rape is a serious offence and she should be talking to someone about what her options are for how to handle this type of situation.
There are many online resources – and Local, City and State hotlines you can call to ask for help. An example is https://www.rainn.org/resources – But You can look locally.
In the end the parent needs to be responsive to their daughters concerns, I assume there is no mother involved, maybe she can seek help from another family members if she has one.
Please tell her there are people that might be able to help her out there and to go seek out that help. Sometimes her school might even have someone that might be able to help and give advice.
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