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Parents, ask yourself this question: Do you really know where your kids are when they are not at home? Do you just assume they are where they say they are? I hate to be the bad guy here but chances are that your kids are not always where they say they are. I can’t tell you how many times kids have become victims of an assault, shooting, robbery etc and when I contact the parents they state their kids were supposed to be at a friend’s house. When I tell them their child was out and about at 1 in the morning they are shocked (well, at least most parents are).
Just today I dealt with an assault that happened Friday night. A 13-yr-old and 15-yr-old were at a party and one of them got into a verbal altercation with an older juvenile. They started walking home at 1 a.m. and the older juvenile and friends followed them and they continued arguing. The verbal altercation turned physical and a fight ensued. 5-6 teens fighting in the middle of the street at 1 a.m. HELLO! They key words here are teens, party and 1 a.m. In this case, the parents KNEW their 13 and 15-yr-old daughters were at a party after midnight. Don’t the parents watch the news or read the papers? Don’t they hear of all the gunfire that almost always erupts at large juvenile parties? Don’t they read the headlines of rapes occurring after drinks are spiked? Don’t they remember the unsolved case of a teenage girl that was kidnapped and murdered several years ago while walking home in this exact same area? I really find it unbelievable that a parent would allow their 13 and 15-yr-old daughters to attend a large party and then WALK HOME at 1 a.m.
There are a lot of good kids that are honest and truthful but almost all kids will stretch the truth or tell a lie occasionally. Even my daughter, a police officers daughter, occasionally snuck out of the house or told me she would be at a friend’s house but ended up at a movie theater with friends. I’m sure she got away with a few things but luckily I kept pretty close tabs on her and usually caught her in a lie. If police officers kids occasionally lie to be with friends, then trust me, your child probably does too. And you won’t know about until a cop calls you at 2 a.m. informing you that your child was the victim of a crime, or your daughter was found in a car with older boys, or found incoherent at a large juvenile party, all when you thought he or she was safe and sound asleep at a friend’s house. Your child may tell you they are staying at a friend’s house but then they tell that parent it’s OK with you if they go to a party, movie, other friends house etc. It happens ALL THE TIME!
It’s not bad stuff, just typical kid stuff, but with all the violence these days it’s dangerous for your child to be out at night, even if it’s not real late. Gun violence is off the hook nowadays. People pull out a gun at the slightest “mug†stare or argument; they are so desensitized to violence that pulling a trigger of a gun means nothing to them. Studies show the majority of gun violence and shootings are juvenile related. Kids admit it’s just as easy to buy a gun on the street as it is to buy drugs. I’m sure you don’t want a cop at your door at 2 a.m. telling you how sorry they are because your child was the victim of a drive-by shooting. Carloads of punk gang banging teens cruise around at night just looking for trouble. Looking for people to fight, people to rob, and if they are on the losing end of a fight, people to shoot. Your innocent child cruising around in a car late at night with friends can easily become the victim of a drive by shooting. People shoot each other nowadays just for looking at them the wrong way.
Bottom line is KNOW WHERE YOUR KIDS ARE. If they say they are going to spend the night at a friend’s house, call that parent or go to their house and speak to that other parent. Tell them your expectations, that you don’t want your child out at night, that you expect him / her to be there if you call the house later. Ask the parents if they are going to be home or if the kids are going to be home alone. Most juvenile parties start out as a “get together†with friends because parents will be away, then uninvited guest often show up and the party gets large, and usually ends up with fights, property damage and often gunfire. A lot of joy rides with a car load of teens often end up in a tragic car accident due to alcohol, drugs or speed. If your child says they are staying at a friend’s house and it’s a friend you haven’t met before, drive by the friend’s house at midnight; is your child hanging out on the street at midnight? Is there a party going on? If your child drives is their car there? Check up on them now and then to make sure they are telling the truth whenever they are away.
If you are a concerned parent (and I applaud you), there are ways to make sure your kids are where they say. With cell phone technology today, track them! Have GPS capability on their phone and see where their phone is at 2 a.m. Kids are inseparable with their phones nowadays. If they have a car, you can buy a small inexpensive tracking device and see where their car is at any time. More expensive units even let you see if your son / daughter is driving reckless or speeding. If your son or daughter tells you they are safe at a friend’s house down the street but a GPS check on their cell phone or car shows them in San Francisco or driving down the street at 3 in the morning, then they have some explaining to do.
I don’t mean to take all your kids freedom away, just monitor it. Kids will be kids, and if they can get away with something they usually will try. I love Judge Judy’s question to parents in her courtroom: Do you know when a teenager is lying? When their mouth is moving. Bottom line is to know where your children are, MAKE SURE they are where they say they are, talk to the parents where they will be staying.
A lot of kids don’t understand the dangers involved and just want to have fun, and they think their parents are being overly strict. But they will understand when they become parents themselves. Don’t let your child become another statistic or headline in the paper, protect them while you can.
Mark…
** Also make sure to see our other parenting related story here – Click here **
