It’s 3 am, Where are your kids???

Maybe you don’t know where they are, maybe you just think you know where they are, maybe you don’t even care.

Maybe they were the ones who egged the cars in my neighborhood the other night, including my car.

Maybe they were the ones who stole an outhouse from a construction site in my area and dumped it on its side in the middle of a busy roadway.

Maybe they were the ones killed in a late night drag race last week.

Or maybe they were one of the people shot and killed early Saturday morning during a gang fight at a local motel.

They could be some of the young girls we regularly find intoxicated and partying at local motels after sneaking out of their bedrooms.

Maybe they were the ones who stole a car and led police officers on a short pursuit before crashing into a vehicle carrying a 21-year-old who had just picked up his mother from work. The 21-year-old was killed on impact and his mother watched him die in her arms. He left behind his family including a wife and
2-month-old baby daughter.

Maybe they were the ones in another police pursuit after police tried to stop them in a stolen car. They crashed and 2 out of the 3 occupants died. Luckily, no innocent people were injured or killed like so many times when these punks try to avoid getting caught.

I could go on and on and on. The above incidents are all true and recent from my area. All occurred during early morning/late night hours. Fact is, in every state, every county, every city, there are kids out at night after curfew. Some of them sneak out and others have no rules or curfews. Sometimes it could be harmless like just hanging out in front of the house with friends, but other times it could result in deadly consequences.

When I was young, I was home each night. I had a curfew and rules. If I broke the rules, I got punished. I know kids will be kids at times, but kids don’t get a chance to be kids today. Even at 11 or 12 years old, I see the shaved heads, the “attitude” in their walk, the hostility and anger in their talk. Kids can’t even look at each other today without staring each other down or instigating a fight. Police stop kids with guns regularly. What has society done to our kid’s childhood?

People blame society in general, the movies, music, television, etc and part of that is true. I saw a study showing that kids witness thousands of murders, rapes and acts of violence before they turn 16. And the rap music today contains far too much violence and anger. I pull up to cars full of teens with rap music blaring so loud that it rattles my car. The lyrics are full of profanities and usually about raping and beating women, carrying guns and shooting each other, making money on drugs, and killing cops. I listened to loud rock-n-roll while growing up but the songs didn’t glamorize violence or talk about killing and raping. How can the kids of today have any value of life or respect for property when they are raised in such a violent oriented society?

Now I’m not saying all kids are bad, there are lots of caring, decent, and responsible teens out there but unfortunately they are outnumbered by unresponsible teens with unresponsible parents. How did this happen? Mainly PARENTS, or should I say lack of parents. We have numerous photos in our files of kids in a gang flashing gang signs. Parents will argue till they are blue in the face that their kids wouldn’t go near a gang. But then why are their kids in a group gang photo flashing gang signs? Because parents don’t know! And probably wont know until we go notify them at 3 a.m. that their child was killed in a gang fight.

Our parents raised Jim and me to be responsible teens. Now we probably did things that would have got us into trouble or would have pissed off our parents, but it was typical kid stuff. We didn’t go out looking for fights, destroying people’s property, or blatantly disrespect adults or police. It’s amazing how disrespectful the kids of today are to police or authority. I see teens telling me to “Fu*k off” right in front of their parents. I see kids flipping me off while I’m on patrol.

I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that when I was young. Hell, I’m a cop myself and I still get a little tensed up when a police car gets behind me. It’s the way I was raised, with respect for authority.

Kids of today just plain look mean. And that’s their goal. The gangs are killing each other over things as simple as colors and a lot of parents don’t even realize what their kids are getting into. We notify parents that their kids were arrested, or worse, injured or killed and their first response is “It can’t be my child, he/she wouldn’t do that”.

I laugh when I remember an incident at 2:30 a.m. one morning. I saw a car weaving back and forth across the roadway and I would have bet money that I was following another drunk driver. I turned on my overhead lights and it took the driver 3 blocks to stop. When I approached the car, it was 3 young girls. The driver was 12 years old and was joyriding in her mom’s car. She had two friends with her, 11 and 12 years old. When I called all three parents, I asked them if they knew where their daughters were. All three parents said “asleep in their room”. I even had one parent argue with me when I tried to get them to check the child’s room. She insisted that her daughter was still asleep and would never sneak out at night. After I finally persuaded her to check her daughter’s room, she got back on the phone in a shocked voice asking where I had the car stopped. The parents of all three girls were totally unaware that the girls had sneaked out of the house.

What if I hadn’t stopped them? What if they crashed the car? They could have hurt or killed themselves or an innocent person. They could have been accosted by a group of older teens in another car. Anything could have happened. The main thing is that none of the parents knew their child was missing, and were surprised that the kids had sneaked out.

It all starts at home. If you raise your kids with love, discipline and respect, spend time with them, and keep an open line of communication with them, and then you’ve done all you can do. It’s the parents who substitute material things for love, or the parents who don’t teach their children respect for others and the parents who don’t have time for their kids that is a big part of the problem. When I go to a call I hear parents say “my kids out of control, he’s your problem now”. That pisses me off because they are the ones who had the child, and now they try to pawn off a problem child on society. It’s THEIR fault they have a disrespectful punk for a child. In other words, they failed as parents.

Too many parents let their children do what they want, when they want. Again, it all starts at home. Don’t have children if you can’t raise them to be responsible productive members of society. If you’re a loser, then don’t raise losers. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that was direct but so true. It read, “If you cant feed em, don’t breed em”. If people want to have children, fine, as long as they can raise them and support them. All of us shouldn’t have to pay for unwanted children because of unresponsible parents.

Maybe I sound bitter, but it angers me that too many people bring children into this world as no more than another tax write-off or for a bigger welfare check. Too many people have children and then pawn them off on grandparents, other relatives or on society. I see drug users and prostitutes that are pregnant with their 3rd or 4th child and they lose custody of every one. And the children usually have medical and psychological problems due to mom’s unresponsible stupid behavior. And where’s dad? Usually unknown. How can these kids get a jump on life when they start so far behind? People need to get their life together before they have kids so they can support them themselves. Care about where your children are and what they are doing. Get involved with your kids.

Like I said, kids will be kids, and sneaking out next door to see a friend isn’t the crime of the century. But when I go to a motel room and bust up a party of teens who are drunk and high, and there are 13-year-old girls partying with 25-year-old parolees, I think there is reason for concern. Once in awhile, get up in the middle of the night and see if your children are really asleep. You don’t want to argue with a police officer on the phone at 2 a.m. denying that he has your daughter or son detained in a motel room, only to find that they really did sneak out.

Like I said, there are lots of respectful responsible kids out there and kudos to the parents who raise them. But to the parents who abandon raising their kids, pawning them off on society, you are the ones helping to make this world a dangerous place to grow up. It’s your kids who are committing crimes and terrorizing others all because you failed in your parental responsibility. You have to have a license to own a dog but anyone can have children. Ironic, isn’t it?

OK, I’ll stop my bitchin. This is just one of the topics that gets me fired up. I want there to be a Mayberry again, a safe place where kids don’t take guns to school and blow away classmates, where kids don’t go out in the middle of the night and steal cars or trash peoples property just for fun. Where you can wear red or blue without the fear of being shot. Where you can go for a walk without the fear of being robbed. Where our kids can play safely without having to worry about being kidnapped or molested. Where kids actually respect their elders and authority.

Unfortunately, Mayberry doesn’t exist anymore. But we can slowly change things. Take responsibility for your kids and their actions. Keep tabs on where your kids go and whom they hang out with. Take time to talk to your kids. Almost all kids who get into gangs say its for the “family feeling”, because they didn’t get the love or attention at home. It’s probably too late for us to see a big change in our lifetime, but we can start changing it for our kids and grandkids. If we don’t start changing things now, it will be a much more violent world that our kids and grandkids will have to grow up in.

Next time it’s 3 a.m. will you know where your children are?